nuptial nuggets

Dear friends,

My, how much happens in a week! How often I want to write here, updating you on how and what I am doing. But, alas, here I sit on a humid Thursday afternoon, freshly showered after a long day of work, and I doubt that what I say will be either complete or as entertaining as I'd like it to be. But, that is the beauty of this blog: we can be honest, and being honest is not always interesting or cool. But being Real with one another is worth it, and you all are teaching me that. Thanks.

at the rehearsal

There was quite a jubilant wedding this weekend. (Oh, I cannot believe that my friends Jon and Claire are married!) It was on Sunday, but the festivities really began on Saturday afternoon with the rehearsal. As one of the musicians as well as a bridesmaid, my role was a bit wonky and took a lot of concentration. I played music with Ellen (a cello/music ed major at Gordon), my drummer friend Ross (and the groomsman who I walked with) and my friend Gordie, who plays guitar. Practicing the wedding was fun because we were outdoors, the weather had broken into a glorious cool breeziness, and so many of my loved ones were there. The entire weekend was so delightful: the weather topped off the vast and lovely evidences all around us of Claire's hard, hard work at preparing for this wedding. The tent and the barn were so beautifully decorated. It was like there was literal love and care, everywhere around us.

Brittany holding up a mirror while I plucked my eyebrows (no fun.)

Even though I had to play music, I was never nervous or doubted that it would be fine. I had such high confidence in Ellen, Ross and Gordie that I just looked forward to it. My accordion strap did break, though, the day before the wedding; along with putting on make-up and fancy clothes with the other bridesmaids, Sunday morning found me repairing it with needle and thread. Friends, Claire looked so beautiful. When she walked from the woods, down the field and into the tent after being preceded by her friends, the music and the moment were very powerful. She was smiling and walking with her mom and dad, and it was sunny and everyone stood up and gazed at her like she was a queen. Don and Karen from The Innocence Mission- Claire's forever favorite band- were there to play for the processional and recessional, and their music created a sweetness and jubilation unmatched by even our wild expectations.

as the bridesmaids were hanging out waiting to process

the ridiculousness of the groomsmen was strangely endearing

Between the service and the reception in the barn, people hung around or lolled in the grass, eating hors d'oeuvres and chatting. Ross and I played some more music under the tent and friends sang along. I noticed there was a great amount of younger kids and babies around, including my sister Eliza's nephew Jack Lewis, who is just a peach. He is one year old, has a round head, and loves Eliza. I could hardly stand it. I could hardly stand any of it, I felt so blessed to be with my friends, witnessing the great event of a marriage, in a grassy glen. And we feasted. And heard toasts (Morgan, my friend/neighbor, was the maid of honor and she gave a speech that was very touching.) And got silly photos taken with chalkboard messages for the newlyweds. And ate cake. And, at the very end, we danced.

her name is Claire Porter now

Monday was also full of that rich, free feeling I'd enjoyed all weekend. But with Tuesday came humidity, and realizations of things that are quite bothersome and sad. Like, my workplace, which is akin to a science fair project that its maker has long since abandoned. And this show that I'm playing next Sunday that I feel ill-prepared for. And the inevitable summertime stress of school loans. And silly complex Visa-ish things for Lithuania. And my own sins that have been lately revealed to me: not showing my mom and dad love, interrupting, gossiping, lack of self-control, selfishness. Last night I finished work, where three friends had joined me to hang out while I closed the shop alone, and instead of treating them with love and gratefulness for their being with me, I was snappy and negative (and, of course, ashamed). All of these issues were crashing down around me and I couldn't find the humility to give them to God.

He was really merciful, though. Even before work last night, He gave me the gift of an encouraging time with Ashley. We roller-bladed around her street and talked. It was super hot outside, but it was so good to be with her (thanks, friend.) And today I babysat all day but was able to run around in the fountain, do some therapeutic housework, and read Harry Potter. Tonight we're having Monopoly night here at my house, so I'm excited about that. I don't know what the Lord is teaching or doing in all this. Maybe just stamina, trust... these basic things that help the Christian life. But I'd appreciate prayer that I'd give to God these things that so tempt me towards doubt and fear.

Thanks for writing friends, and thanks for reading. You all are great! I am so proud of each one of you. Keep running the Good Race.

Love and Prayers,

HJB